Assume:

1. People are selfish.

2. Conversation is the exchange of information and ideas. When we speak, we give them and when we listen, we receive them.

3. Most people prefer to talk than to listen.

One of these assumptions is false.

Do we prefer to talk because our desire to give is greater than our desire to receive? I don’t think so.

Perhaps we (unconsciously) view conversation as the exchange of external validation and not information.

Do we value external validation over information and ideas?

Fortunately, we do not have to choose.

Listening leads to being held in higher esteem and absorbing information/ideas.

If you are inclined to wait your turn to speak instead of listening (hat tip to Pulp Fiction), here are two ideas for you.

1. Imagine that you have a “bank account” of information. As you speak your balance reduces, and increases as you listen. Envision a vertical bar that grows and shrinks.

2. Take a short but deliberate breath before speaking. This will, at first, feel unnatural. The benefits will be obvious and immediate, and I’ll leave these for you to discover.

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.”
–Doug Larson

Footnote: I am guilty of talking more than listening. However, the person I am striving to become values learning over external validation.