Why do we use expressions that we don’t understand? Does it matter? Probably not, but it’s Friday and I’m feeling silly.
“There’s more than one way to skin a cat.”
WTF?! Who’s skinning cats? Worse, who is trying various methods?
“Kill two birds with one stone.”
Again, horrible – Who’s killing birds with stones? Whoever is developing techniques to kill two birds with one stone needs another hobby.
“It was a wild goose chase.”
Wild geese do not shy away from confrontation – we will not be chasing them. So is the goose chasing us? Is it a “wild goose” or is the “goose chase” so chaotic, it is “wild”?
“Better safe than sorry”
Thanks for the advice Confucius. It’s also better to be rich than sick or happy than paranoid. Safe and sorry are not trade-offs. One is good and the other is bad.
“Clean as a whistle”
I’ve made a list of the cleanest objects that I have seen. Number one: a small metal object with countless layers of residual slobber from a tobacco chewing coach stored in his moldy windbreaker pocket.
“The whole nine yards”
Is this a football reference? If so, you’ll be punting on fourth down.
“Balls to the wall”
The mental image associated with this expression is odd and disturbing. Are we in a Salvador Dali painting?
“The writing is on the wall”
It is?! Is the print on the floor? Is the art on the ceiling? You are the worst fortune-teller ever. I want my five bucks back.
“Beat a dead horse”
Should someone called PETA? Who is doing this . . .and why?
“Fit as a fiddle”
Ahh, this is why my gym has photos of fiddles plastered on the mirrors and walls.
“Foot the bill”
I’m sorry, what would you like me to do to the bill? “Foot” it. Are you ill?
“Make a beeline for . . “
I followed your advice, and now I’m dizzy . . . and now – I’m puking in a bucket.
“Its a matter of life and death”
Sigh – such is life, the ebbs and the flows, the good and the bad. . . . Oh! you mean “life OR death” – why didn’t you say so?!
Make this weekend a great one!
